Hexagram 17, Line 3
Following (随)
九三:係丈夫
The Line Text
九三:係丈夫,失小子。隨有求得,利居貞。
One is tied to the mature man and must let go of the youth. In following, one finds what one seeks. It is advantageous to remain correct and persevering.
The Commentary says: "Tied to the mature man" means the will is to abandon the lower.
Interpretation
This line signifies a crucial moment of choice and re-alignment. You are at a crossroads where you must consciously decide whom or what to follow. The "mature man" (丈夫) represents wisdom, experience, high principles, and long-term, valuable goals. The "youth" or "small boy" (小子) symbolizes immaturity, petty concerns, short-term gratification, bad habits, or superficial influences. The line is unequivocal: to gain the greater, you must release the lesser. You cannot hold onto both. By choosing to follow the path of integrity and substance (the mature man), you will inevitably have to sever ties with past attachments or ways of being that are no longer serving your growth (the youth). This is a positive and empowering act. The choice is not made for you; it is a deliberate act of will ("the will is to abandon the lower"). Success is promised ("one finds what one seeks"), but it is conditional upon staying true to this new, higher path ("it is advantageous to remain correct and persevering"). This is not a one-time decision but a sustained commitment to a better direction.
Guidance for Action
You are being called to "level up." Take a serious look at the people, ideas, and habits you are currently following. Identify the "mature man" in your life—this could be a wise mentor, a challenging long-term project, a core principle, or a path of self-improvement. Simultaneously, identify the "small boy"—a distracting friendship, a dead-end job, a procrastination habit, or the desire for easy, immediate pleasure. You must make a conscious and firm decision to let go of the latter in order to fully embrace the former. This may feel like a loss or a sacrifice initially, but it is a necessary step for progress. Align yourself with substance over superficiality. Once you have made your choice, do not waver or look back with regret. Persevere in your new direction, and you will achieve your goals.
For Love & Relationships
This line indicates a significant turning point in your romantic life. It is time to choose a mature, stable, and meaningful connection over a superficial or dramatic one. The "mature man" represents a partner who is emotionally available, responsible, and shares your core values for a long-term future. The "small boy" could represent a casual fling, an ex you can't get over, or immature relationship patterns like jealousy and game-playing. If you are single, this line advises you to clarify your standards and seek a relationship with substance, letting go of attachments to those who are not serious or ready. If you are in a relationship, it is time to commit to its growth and maturity, leaving behind old arguments or childish dynamics. Choosing the path of mature love will bring you the fulfillment you seek.
For Career & Business
In your professional life, this is a call to align yourself with a worthy long-term vision. You must choose to follow a wise mentor, a company with strong ethics, or a career path that offers genuine growth, even if it's more demanding. This is the "mature man." You must simultaneously "let go of the youth," which could mean leaving a comfortable but stagnant job, distancing yourself from office gossip and petty politics, or abandoning short-term projects that offer quick rewards but no lasting value. It might be time to move on from a junior role or mindset and step into a more responsible position. Making this strategic shift will be highly beneficial and will lead to achieving your professional ambitions. Focus on building a career with a solid foundation and integrity.
For Financial Matters
This line strongly advises a shift towards a more mature and disciplined financial strategy. The "mature man" represents sound, long-term investments, a carefully planned budget, and the guidance of a reputable financial advisor. It is the path of financial prudence and stability. The "small boy" symbolizes get-rich-quick schemes, speculative fads, impulsive spending, and living beyond your means. To achieve true financial security, you must consciously "let go" of these risky or undisciplined habits. This is the time to create a solid financial plan and stick to it, even if it means forgoing some immediate gratifications. By following a path of financial wisdom and perseverance, you will successfully build the wealth and security you are seeking.